What am I doing?

After being with my current company for 11 years, yes you read that right, 11 years!! I’m 30 years old. I shouldn’t have already been at a company for this long right? Well, I’m a creature of nature. I dislike change. I mean, I really DISLIKE change. It makes me nervous.  I like being in my comfort zone and routine puts my mind at ease.

So then what am I doing leaving a company to go work somewhere else when I don’t even know if I’ll have a job in three months? Crazy right? This is so out of character for me. It’s slightly better pay, and it’s a really HUGE company so I know as soon as I have my foot in the door the opportunities are endless. At least I hope they are because if when my position is evaluated in three months they see that I’m not working out, I will be out of a job. No money for rent, food, bills… and it’ll be like I’m starting all over again. At 30 years old!

My stomach is in knots.  Last night I had a nightmare about my last day at work here, which will be this coming Monday. I was so sad. I’m going to miss all the wonderful people I’ve met here and hope that I will work with easygoing, kind people at my new job. What if I find myself working with nothing but drama queens? Geez…

I haven’t been this nervous in a long time. I’m questioning myself and wondering if I’m even making the right decision. Hopefully this works out. I seriously have no idea what I’m getting myself into. One good thing though, is that I don’t really regret giving my notice, although I do feel really guilty for leaving after this long. I’m just a nervous wreck! Though, I’m sure my nervousness comes from my fear of the unknown. What will it be like? Will I learn everything quickly? Will I like my new co-workers? Will they like me? Will I have a job in three months? Yikes!

This is the time that I should be using all my free time to go running to relieve my stress, but instead I’ve been sleeping in, actually it’s more like staying in bed tossing and turning. Hopefully I’ll run tomorrow AFTER my drug and safety test.

More updates soon… I hope.

Back at it

This last week has been an improvement in my jogging than it had been in the previous weeks. I don’t know what happened. I just fell into a running funk. I tried getting out of it mostly by going out for a jog, but I could never jog for very long before I would slow down to a walk. This happened quite often in the last few weeks and I never had the feeling that I’d had a good run. I wasn’t sure what was causing it. Although, I’m sure my eating habits played a big part in my lack of energy.

I’m on my way back to feeling good about jogging again though. The past three days I’ve jogged about 4.5 miles each morning. Nothing impressive, but I’m feeling better about it, except for yesterday when I was running along and some idiot in a car passed by and honked! I seriously don’t understand what they get out of doing that. Don’t they realize that my heart’s already pounding out of my chest, and then this person thinks it’s funny to honk and scare me, not to mention that I’ve been jogging in the morning when the sun hasn’t even risen or begun to peak through. It’s really scary out, but I snap on my cajones and walk out the door because it’s the only time I’ll do it. That’s when I decided to run back to the school by my apartment and run around the running track, in my own little comfort zone where one brick wall blocks all the oncoming traffic. And then I felt safe and unbothered.

Years ago I’d jog in the evenings around my neighborhood and people honked and yelled at me all the time for no other reason than to agitate or scare me, I guess. They always managed to do it when I was in my “zone.” I finally got so fed up with it that I stopped running and never jogged that path again, feeling defeated and frustrated. For the past several months I’ve been jogging at a nearby running track, but lately the gate seems to be locked at random times and so I decided to try and run near my apartment. Monday was the first day I’d run around my neighborhood and yet on Tuesday someone scares me by honking, which in turn forces me back to the school. The school with the inaccurate running track. I’m considering running with a handful of rocks so I can throw at those idiots. This morning as I began my jog I had my eyes pealed on the ground searching for rocks but couldn’t find any. Pshaw… who has a hard time finding rocks? Yes, I am a 12 year old boy wanting to throw rocks at oncoming traffic. Ha. But seriously, it’s not fair. I can’t even block out the honking or yelling by wearing my headphones because I never use them when it’s so early. You never know who will sneak up on you when it’s that dark out.

Anyway, those people better hope I don’t fall over with a heart attack if they do that to me again. Or rather, I hope I don’t fall over with a heart attack. I’m trying again tomorrow though. Maybe. People are so rude. I’m positive they aren’t fellow runners. Jerks.

ABC Survey

I’ve been so busy at work, and haven’t given myself the chance to blog. Sure I take breaks every now and then to read a few other blogs but no time to write. Anyway, so much to share, but am going to go with a survey this time. Blog more later. Peanut tagged me and it seems easy and quick enough, so here goes:

A. Attached or single? Attached to a younger man…

B. Best friend? My honey… obviously because he’s my guy… but mostly because I have no other friends, heh.

C. Cake or pie? Cake mostly…

D. Day of choice? Saturday, I can’t enjoy Sunday knowing I have to work the next day.

E. Essential item? Caffeine

F. Favorite color? Blue

G. Gummy bears or worms? Either. Yummy. If you’ve seen me, you’d know I’m not picky.

H. Hometown? Earlimart, aka Mexican Mayberry.

I. Indulgence? Watching movies all the time now. Four months of movie channels for free! Yeah! Also, the new NKOTB cd. What? Don’t judge me.

J. January or July? January. July is our busiest time at work and it’s hot like a mutha in Bako.

K. Kids? None now. Maybe later… I said, maybe.

L. Life isn’t complete without? My family, my honey and movies!

M. Marriage date? Riiiight!

N. Number of brothers & sisters? Two brothers and two sisters, all younger. Not fun.

O. Oranges or apples? Oranges, sometimes plain and sometimes with lemon, salt and chili powder. :p

P. Phobias? Movie theater bathrooms… they are pretty creepy when I’m alone in there.

Q. Quotes? Since Peanut used a quote from The Office, I thought I’d follow along and use one of my favorite quotes too! From Michael Scott of course, “Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho and you told her she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then … and then suddenly she’s not yo’ ho no mo’.”

R. Reasons to smile? Movies! And snuggling with my honey. That’s pretty much it nowadays. Too stressed to smile.

S. Season of choice? Autumn. The weather’s great and then it’s my birthday!

T. Tag seven peeps! Do I know seven people? If you’ve read this consider yourself tagged please.

U. Unknown fact about me? I enjoy watching all movies, including the English ones, with subtitles. Although, I’m sure I’ve revealed that fact on this blog before so it’s not THAT unknown but I couldn’t think of another.

V. Vegetable? Carrots

W. Worst habits? Is being moody a habit… ?

X. X-ray or ultrasound? I’m going with X-rays because the first thing that comes to mind with an ultrasound is babies! Yikes!

Y. Your favorite food? My mom’s sopes in enchilada sauce… mmmmm…

Z. Zodiac sign? Libra, makes sense since I’m obsessed with the scale.

All work and no blogging….

… makes Rah Rah very grumpy.

So, I shaved off over 2 minutes from my previous PR. (Did that make me sound like a runner? My previous PR? heh.) Okay, so maybe I just recently learned what PR stood for, but still, I can use it now because I’m cool like that.

I was really disappointed with the time from my previous race. I completed the 5K in 36:16 min. I thought that was really bad. It is no where near being an advanced runner but I’ve come to realize that it’s not THAT bad after all. I have to remind myself that I’m just starting. I’ve jogged on and off most of my adult life, but it really wasn’t until May 17, 2008 that I really decided I wanted to become a runner. Obviously, I’m still learning and have a ways to go before I see major improvements but in all honesty, I haven’t been at it for very long. Anything I’ve done so far really is an improvement from what I previously did. And even though, I’m not running as far or fast as I thought I was, I really still am running longer and faster than I was three months ago. And that’s good enough for me.

I completed my second 5K in 33:45 min this past Saturday. Again, not record-breaking for an elite runner, but it was for me. It took me a while to get used to the idea that I’m actually slow because I’d relied on Nike+ and believed I was faster than what I really was. But I’ve finally drilled it into my head that Garmy is right and I should now go off of what Garmy says. Who would have ever thought a running track would be off anyway? Seriously. But I’m past that now, and now I’ve calibrated the Nike+ to match my forerunner, and even if it feels like I’m starting all over again, that’s okay with me.

Also, my new obsession? 5Ks! haha… I was so nervous at the first race. I’m not really anti-social, but I am easily intimidated and become a nervous wreck when I’m out of my comfort zone. However, at the second race I felt like a natural, as if I’d ran 5Ks for a long time. I recognized a couple of faces, and have one new friend. He’ll be meeting my co-worker’s daughter and I at the next 5K in two months. Yes, another race! Fun fun! They’ll be having a pancake breakfast right after the run. SCORE! heh.

I did feel bad for a gentleman running in front of me when we reached the water station. We were running downhill and he fell to the ground. I felt horrible for him. I usually laugh when people fall, including even when I fall myself, but I truly felt bad for him. I asked if he was all right and if he needed any help, but he said he was fine. I saw him at the end of the race and I told him I was glad he made it. He just laughed and said yeah, me too! heh. People are so nice! I heart runners!

Anyway, it’s the end of the work day for me. Must go home, eat some tuna and lace up in a few hours for another run. This morning’s run was cut short because I seriously felt sick from eating too much last night. Oops.

Blog at ya soon!

Race #2

I’m slightly nervous, not too much though because I’ve had far too many other things on my mind to just focus on the race, which can be either good or bad. Today I started feeling little butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know why. I know I won’t win. I’m not even in it to win. I would like to do better than the last race though. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m really slow, thanks to Garmy, but that’s okay with me… sorta. I’m going to work on improving that, and at least now I’m not fooling myself because I now know exactly how much I’m running.

I haven’t had a chance to check Garmy on another running track, but hopefully I’ll do that soon. I’m even ashamed to admit that I haven’t had the chance to run in the past two days. I’m really not going to be prepared for the race. I skipped out yesterday morning because my legs felt weak and tired and this morning I was simply too tired to get up. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to run this evening when I have the race tomorrow morning. Maybe I’ll head out to the gym after work, or maybe not. I’ll see how I’m feeling. I don’t even know what to eat tonight. I know I don’t need to carb up for a 5K, but I don’t want to overeat, or eat anything that will upset my stomach tomorrow. That’s the LAST thing I need.

Hopefully I’ll do decently though. And hopefully I can start running more again. I miss it and I need it. I need to start feeling better. Anyway, results coming soon.

Have a great weekend!

Disappointed

Besides realizing that I am completely slow after my initial use of the forerunner, I am a little bummed that I’m not sure I got the most accurate reading. It’s either that the forerunner is inaccurate or the running track at the nearby school is. Or maybe I really am THAT slow.

I usually run right on the center of the running track using my Nike+, which means I run right on the line of the 3rd and 4th lane.  This morning I took my usual position right on the white line and ran a lap using my spiffy new forerunner. It read that a complete lap between the 3rd and 4th lane was at .20 miles. Seeing that it wasn’t a full 1/4 mile, I then decide to run on the 4th lane, and still no luck. Then the 5th, nuh-uh. Then the 6th, the unused lane, and I say this because weed has actually spread right onto the dirt in large sections sporadically throughout that lane, and yet, that lane didn’t work either. They all measured at .20 miles, maybe .21 miles. I wanted to cry… because I’m a big ol’ baby but mostly because I’m PMSing so I have the right.

I instantly had buyer’s remorse. Should I have just saved that money for something more useful? Maybe it’s just inaccurate because no one actually uses it to run around in circles, which defeats the whole purpose of my purchase since most of my runs are on a running track. Maybe I confused it. Gah, which way is she going?! I ran 22 laps on the 4th lane of a 6 lane track, which should have been 5.5 miles, but instead it read 4.57 miles. I think the Nike+ had me at somewhere like 5.83 miles. That was higher because I ran in the lane further than what I calibrated the sensor in. I’m going to try again. This time I’m going to use it running from the stop light down the street from my apartment to the next stop light two blocks down. I’ve measured it in my car to be .50 miles so I’ll see what my new friend/enemy Garmy has to say about that.

I’m sure it’s a great product. I’ve read so many great reviews for it, but I’m wondering if maybe it’s not for me since I’m not an advanced runner nor do I run on running paths. I simply stick to running tracks or jog around my neighborhood. I don’t know what to do. I don’t really want to return it, and I’m not sure if Amazon would allow me to just because I changed my mind. Or maybe I’ll keep it and learn to love it.

Or who knows? Maybe the running track I use isn’t really accurate. Someone could have screwed up on the planning and construction. D’oh! Wouldn’t that be something?

I have to love it. I want to love it. I really do. I don’t want it to be wasted money. Augh. I won’t give up on it. If anything, maybe I’m right between what the Nike+ tells me I am and what the forerunner said I did. We’ll see. New post regarding Garmy coming soon.

It’s in!

It’s here. My brand-new Garmin Forerunner is here! Sure it took a couple days longer than I thought since I was impatiently tracking it on USPS.com, but it still got here before the date I was given. Gotta love amazon.com.

I will have a more accurate reading of my miles tomorrow morning, or maybe even tonight if I’m too anxious to wait! I’m excited! I’ve read it’s pretty easy to use so I’m crossing my fingers. I’m not sure if they took into a consideration that some of us are technology impaired.

Thanks, 1mile! I probably would have waited longer to actually get one since I thought it was for the elite runner, but it actually makes more sense to get it now since I’ve been giving myself wayyyyy too much credit for distance and speed. Not that my speed or distance is that great as it is, but I know now that I’m much slower than what Nike+ led to me believe. At least now I can calibrate the Nike+ along with the forerunner and be more accurate. Sure I’ll be disappointed but hopefully I’ll eventually build up to be a better runner!

Can’t wait! Details tomorrow.

I’m here, my pretties.

Big cyber group hug!

I’ve been MIA for almost 2 weeks now. Geez. Has it been that long? Anyway, we went down to the coast for 4 days and it was wonderful. It was a little chilly but I was fine wearing a light sweater. I just appreciated being away from this Bakersfield heat. We really had a good time and I seriously was so sad on Saturday, our last day. I couldn’t believe how fast time flew by while we were there. I really wanted to cry as we drove away. Now I’m just counting down the days until the next big family trip back to Cambria. 355 days! I told my boyfriend we should just quit our jobs and live there. I wouldn’t mind opening my own little shop of whatever and living off that. There’s tons of cute little shops there. I’ve always wondered how they made money but they seem to do well and live by the beach, so I’m in!

I managed to go jogging once while I was there. It felt so liberating to run along the beach. It was about 6:00 a.m. when I went out and there were already a few people walking. It doesn’t usually get crowded at that beach anyway since it is always a little chilly in Cambria, but it really felt nice to have the beach almost completely to myself. When my boyfriend and I returned later at about noon, I showed him where along the beach I had ran and the water was already covering that area. That was pretty amazing! I almost doubted that we’d gone back to the same place, but then I saw the huge rock I’d run by.

I also ran my first 5K the day of our return. I did horribly, a lot worse than what I thought I would. And not to make excuses or anything, but I did get sick the night before. I was up at about 1 a.m. praying to the porcelain gods. I did feel slightly better after and then I got back into bed and knocked out for a few more hours. I was up at 10 a.m. Ahhh… bliss. I had one meal of calamari and chips before we left for home and didn’t have anything else. I felt I was well hydrated but I did start feeling nervous about the race as time ticked on. I don’t know if my getting sick the night before had anything to do with how bad I did, but I am really hoping it did. At least a little bit because then that’ll mean that I don’t suck THAT bad, heh. I do have another 5K in a week from tomorrow. So soon!? I know! What am I thinking? But I’m determined to shave off a few minutes from my time. I’m just really nervous that I won’t and then I’ll be even more disappointed.

I haven’t been running as well as I’d like to either. I’ve been eating really bad and everyday I tell myself I’m going to make better food choices and then I cave. But I don’t want to quit. I’ve already had a chorizo burrito this morning, but I will make a better choice for lunch. Maybe a salad. Hmmm… maybe. Geez, I really wish I could be hypnotized into making better choices. Don’t people get hypnotized to quit smoking? I’d like to quit my bad eating habits. Ugh.

On another note, I bought a new toy, the Garmin Forerunner 205. I probably shouldn’t have because I’m no hardcore runner yet and it is pretty pricey, but I thought it’d be a nice tool to have to give me a more accurate reading of the miles I’ve jogged and my pace. I love my Nike+ but after my 5K I discovered it was off. I’ve since then recalibrated the sensor, but I’m still doubtful of it’s accuracy. I don’t want to give myself credit for a faster pace or longer miles if I didn’t really do it. It should be coming in today! Amazon.com had lots of great reviews, and even though it’ll look like I have a brick attached to my wrist, I’m excited. I may not be a serious runner yet, but hopefully this will help me to be.

I’ll keep you posted. I’ve had so much to blog about but this post is long enough as it is. One week and one day left until my next race. I’ll have to be extra good running and eating wise. Wish me luck! Thanks for checking in!

And I’m still running

I almost didn’t do it, but I forced myself out of bed this morning. I’ve had to talk myself into getting up for the past week. I was fine for several weeks. It was so easy getting up in the mornings and then all of a sudden BAM! it’s like sleep caught up to me. All I want to do is sleep in, but then I realize that I probably won’t even be able to sleep comfortably for the next hour and a half anyway, and so I get out of bed.

And I’m usually glad I do. I’d even planned on heading to the gym this morning, but my honey actually said he wanted to go running with me. That was surprising, and so I decided to go running instead. It felt good. I tried not to think about how I must have looked to him in my running gear, but it was hard not to feel self-conscience. I’m sure he’s seen me looking worse than that, but I’ve never jiggled and frolicked in front of him for several miles before.

But anyway, great news. I’m officially entered for the 5K next weekend. Whoo! I’ll be getting a t-shirt. Awesome! We’ll be racing at 8:30 p.m. so I hope it’ll be cooler by then. It was 109 degrees today and the humidity this morning was so high even at 5:30 a.m. My jogs seem to be slowing down and I know it shouldn’t matter but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed by it. I thought I’d be improving, but it may be the heat or the recent running break I had that has slowed me down. Or maybe a combination of both.

Anyhow, I have a week and a day left to train for the race, so I hope I do well. The only bad thing, well honestly it’s not so bad, but the only thing that may hinder my training is that my boyfriend and I are off to the beach next Wednesday afternoon until Saturday. I’m really looking forward to it. His family goes down every year for a week for a family reunion. We’ve never been able to stay the night let alone a few days before this so I’m beyond excited! Usually we just drive down on a Friday when they all get together for the big family BBQ, which is so much fun. I will try to find time to run, and it might even be nice being in the cooler weather with so much beautiful scenery, but I’m not counting on it too much. The day we return home is also the day of the race, so I’m going to try to be good about my eating habits that day. I really don’t want to ruin the race, but I don’t want to ruin my fun at the beach either because I am so looking forward to the food and the drinks. Fun fun!

I hope to have pictures. It’s actually a very pretty place. We really enjoy the peacefulness of the little town. I seriously cannot wait to be there! Too bad I’m not bikini ready, but luckily it’s not the type of place where you prance in your skimpy bathing suit. Brrr… Heh. See? My kind of place.

Tagged by Chefsy

And though, I have much to blog about, I have been really busy at work and haven’t had the time. Work is actually my best time to blog because I’m at a desk all day in front of a computer, plus it takes me away from work for a bit. But I did answer these questions really quick to let you all know I’m still alive and miss my blog buddies.

Copy the rules (or your version of them) and the set of questions onto your blog post, provide your own answers and then tag at least 5 new people. If tagged, you’ll find your name at the end of this post.

To be sure everyone tagged knows they’ve been invited to play, go to their blogs and leave them a comment notifying and referring them to your blog for details.

Lastly, once the chosen have answered the questions on their own blog, they should come back to yours to tell you.

1. How would you describe your running 10 years ago?

I would run 2 miles (on a good day) and pat myself on the back for it. I did it strictly as a form of exercise for weight maintenance.

2. What is your best and worst run/race experience?

Ooh, my race experience will begin July 19^th. The best experience thus far is actually filling out the entry form and sending it in with payment making it official. Yeah, buddy! Worst running experience? The recent shin splints and the hassle to find the right pair of running shoes. Ugh. So glad that’s over.

3. Why do you run?

I used to run every now and then, get bored, head back to the gym, get bored, start running, get bored, and so on until recently when I discovered Nike+ and it kept track of my mileage. It was really motivating. It IS motivating. It has really made me want to get more and more serious about running. I love increasing my mileage and having my Nike+ remind me of how much I’ve run. I’ve started looking at running from a different angle, not just as exercise and have noticed the additional benefits of it. My legs are a little firmer, still chubby but firmer. It helps relieve stress and since I’ve stopped counting laps around the track I can instead focus on different things, sing along to songs and just feel so much better mentally. It’s MY time. I LOVE it.

4. What is the best or worst piece of advice you’ve been given about running?

Best advice: Finding the right pair of running shoes and slow down.

Worst advice: Don’t run, it’s bad for your knees.

5. Tell us something surprising about yourself that not many people would know.

There’s not really anything surprising or interesting about me. Though, I can actually run further and longer now that I am 30 and overweight, than what I could at 20 being an itty bitty thing. Must be the extra energy stored in my excess fat tissue. Is that surprising? Or I must watch ALL my movies with caption. I know, annoying if you’re a guest in my home, right? It drives me nuts when it’s not available on certain DVDs. Heh.

Oh well, I tried.

If you’ve read this, consider yourself tagged.